a title?? coolness!

^^a title...seems like its xanga's desparate attempt to get people back from myspace and facebook and what not...

...but i digress (from the thought i was formulating in my head but hadn't gotten down yet)

so, as i was [think]ing, know what the problem with caller id is? you have to pretend you dont know who's calling, even though you already know. i dont mean like for your mom, or your friend, because then you can pick up and directly say "hey mom!" or "WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME YET AGAIN??" or however you greet that particular person.  But what about when someone who has never previously called you before calls? like just now, my tennis coach called for the first time.  the caller ID showed me his last name, so i knew it was him, because i dont know anybody else with that last name. but i had to pick up and say 'hello?' all inquiringly as though i have no idea who is on the other line, and then wait for him to explain who he is asnd then say 'oh hi coach!' all surprised-ly.  and that, i think, is just too much effort.

i'm not sure what the point of that was.

ok, friends. this is what is going on on my shoulders at this very moment.

angel: get to your apush this instant young lady! you have done NOTHING this weekend, and you know you have a ton of other homework to do!
devil: i'm hungry. lets go eat something.
me: *goes to eat something*

angel: ok, you've already eaten some fudge and some cake. just eat a couple of strawberries and get BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK!
devil: food is good. must. eat. more. food.
me: *sees box of cookies* OMG GIRLSCOUT COOKIES!!!!!! ...dad, your making toast? i want some! *begins gorging*

angel: have i gone invisible or something? why arent you getting it through your head that you need to do your HOMEWORK??
devil: no, your not invisible...your just dumb.
angel: *sulks, because it would be un-angellike to partake in namecalling*
devil:now where were we? ah yes, more procrastination...
me: plays random computer game, goes on xanga which i havent updated in like 2 months, anything but homework.

so basically my angel is like getting stomach ulcers from flipping out so much. and yet i STILL havent done any homework.

i used to spend my afternoons online, taking tiny homework breaks.

now i spend my afternoons doing homework, taking tiny online breaks.

irony is me. i dont like it.

i'm part of this club called best buddies, right? so now i'm going to go all door-to-door salesman on you and tell you why it is the most wonderful club in the world.

best buddies offers people like you and me the chance to develop a relationship with individuals who have intellectual disabilities.  i dont thinnk i'd be lying if i said it is the best thing that has happened to my life in at least 2 years.  i have been partnered up with a "buddy" and i hang out with her sometimes, although right now she's sick.  i love getting to know her and her disability, and spending time with her.  the meetings are so amazing, it is such an incredibly friendly environment where we all just hang out and talk ...i can forget all my problems there...its like therapeutic.  its so wonderful getting to know everyone, because they are such awesome people!

and seeing them in the hallway. when i stop and say hi to someone from best buddies in the hall, it just makes me sooooo happy. i'm not sure why, but it just fills me with the greatest feeling of joy.  and if it's making such a difference in MY life, i'm sure it is making a considerable impact on theirs too.

so to wrap up my little spiel, this one speaker at a best buddies seminar told us that, this club was the most important, the best thing we could do in our entire high school career. and i believe her wholeheartedly.  grades, clothes, drama, who really cares?  when i'm with this club i feel like everybody belongs, and i feel like this is what i want to do for a long time. it really makes a difference, it really, really does. for more information go to www.bestbuddies.com ...and if there is something like this at your school, by all means join!! it is just so amazing.

Currently Listening Greatest Hits By blink-182 see related

So yesterday, we got home around 1:30 at night due to the fact that my parents were fulfilling their social requirements. I didn't realize how amazingly cold it was going to be outside, so I was only wearing a thin jacket.  And as I was rushing to put on my pajamas and get in my bed so that I could be nice and warm again, and shivering convulsively, all I could think was to thank God so much that when I'm cold like that, I know that I'm going to be warm in about 5 minutes.  What if you were cold like that all the time, and you knew there was no hope of getting warmer any time soon?

And the other thing I started to think after that was, that this is some sign of maturity.  Because usually, the only time I remember to thank God for what I have is when I am asking for something.  Don't worry, I never wish or pray for stupid stuff, but if someone is sick, or hurt, or just in dire need, then I pray.  And then I feel really guilty because the only time i remember to be gracious is when I need something.  That's like being a spritual suck-up! It always made me really mad at myself, and I would always tell myself that I will start remembering to be more grateful for the things I am blessed to have.  So I guess I'm pleased to realize that I have started to be. Okay, that is all.